just take shah rukh khan and his wife gauri as example - they've worked!

Probably going on a tangent, but I know of same faith marriages where one of the couple get disowned.

It takes guts and maturity, I'll give em that.

Know a couple, I'll try and get em to come on here and let you know if I can.

'just take a look at shah ruh khan n gauri,it works' lol, what a load of rubbish, no true practising hindu or muslim would marry out their faith.

chronicalali, do you mean to say "true practising hindu or muslim" marriages don't fail?

Like never?

Awesome.

no scroll_lock,u taking it out of context,,never mind cultures clashing,when a married couple of 2 diffrent faiths bring up theis children,wat do u want them to become,confused?

I'd hope good human beings. Kids can grow up an change faith no matter how much of their faith you teach them.

It's like teaching them right from wrong, but influenced by wrong people then they may consider taking the wrong path in life. You can never completely teach kids what to become or do. Kids are confused most their childhood life, until they learn what life is for themselves.

Most of my family is mixed faiths and they're all happily married.

Well put, rani241.

People over-simplify "faith" and "culture" like it's a uniform.

Firstly, there's no such thing as a "pure culture". Culture is always changing, adapting and responding. Influences are coming in and going out all the time.

"Faith" is also something that changes. People question it and re-assess it when it becomes restrictive and its practise questionable. That's when people sometimes go "back to the book" to see whether they haven't misinterpreted it. Sometimes, they'll come up with a new faith, like the Reformation and the creation of Protestantism, or Sikhism, all in the middle-ages.

"Culture" often gets mixed-up with Tradition, which by definition is mostly unchanging. You just add to it, and perhaps drop some.

And I think Tradition, Culture, and Faith are only part of what goes into the upbringing of a child, but obviously influences the way we interact with the world.

hey everybody
new on this site and on any form for that matter would like to request all of you to answer the in a precise way. the question put accross by sona was does anybody know successful inter religion marriages and if yes how it took place and the events which followed.
so, if anybody knows such couple do tell their story as thats what the realy query was...... thanks

Hello Ventuar123. Welcome to the WorldWideWobble.

I'm not any kind of expert, but from what I've seen here, the way this forum works, is that you post your point of view on a given subject.

You can make a statement to tell the world what you think. You can take issue with a particular point, and I stress point, not person. The latter usually leads to a downard spiral into a loathsome void, the former can sometimes stimulate and engage.

From the fact that you've posted in this particular topic, though I have yet seen the other to see whether you have posted there, I would presume that you have a particular interest or experience of mixed marriages?

I am most interested in know what that might be. Perhaps that will engage people enough to post a response.

Ive just come accross this website and discussion by accident but felt compelled to comment. I am a hindu married to a muslim and we have one child. My husband and I are bot intelligent articulate individuals who have complete respect for each others choice to practise different religions. Our son will be brought up knowing fully about both faiths and when he is old enough it will be his choice as to which he wishes to practise or alternatively he can choose both!! or none at all!!! He is privileged to come from two rish cultures and neithe rmyslef or my husband would deprive him of one of them. Our familes were initially against our marriage but due to our determination they have now come around to it , particularly as they have seen how we have not attempted to change each other. Those people who are repulsed by our marriage have no idea about love, tolerance nor have thay any desire sadly to enrich their lives by learning about other cultures. I hope my story inspires others. I must say that we are one of the lucky few as I am aware of many situations like my own that do not work out mainly due to lack of toleance andsupport from each other and families. When one partner wants to convert the other I really do not feel that it bodes well for a successful marriage.

Poplartree, hats off to you, nice post.

Poplartree, out of interest what kind of name will you give your child?

Our child has name which is acceptable to both cultures/religions. To further assuage your curiosity about us here are more details: We had two wedding ceremonies, Hindu and Muslim and of course the civil ceremony required by Law. Only a few of my husbands family came to the hindu wedding and similarly only a few of my family attended the muslim wedding - this worked out well as it didnt stress us out so much. My husband and I have been together for 15 years but married for 5 years. My husband has attended Temple with my family on occasion and family religious events and even came to India with my family and myself. I have gone to visit Bangladesh with my husband and his family and similarly taken part in muslim religious festivals on occasion. We have many friends in mixed marriages of different religions and we all live in a cosmopolitan city where it is just not an issue, but something to be proud of.

Hi....Poplartree...are you actually me !!! LOL ! I am hindu married to a muslim, I have been married for nearly 7 years but we have been together for the last 15 !
We also had a mini muslim hindu wedding and a huge mixed religion reception...it all worked out well. I have two boys and I suppose now we seem to be getting a bit of input from relatives etc about religion but i strongly beleive that as long as my kids grow up as good humans and have faith in god as a whole the rest will follow...as long as they realise they are indian and do indian things, they will be ok !!

Well said bea. I think personally, your kids and poplartree's too, will be so lucky to grow up in sucha a bi cultural environment. I hate it when people say ''oh but it confuses the kids''. I'd love to know more about your daily lives, activities, holidays, outlooks etc.

At last, some really inspiring synthesis of cultures for a change. Why? Because the INTENT of the people involved was pure and dedicated from the beginning. My strongest respect to you girls.... :-)

Thanks Raja, we just live life normally, our generation is pretty diluted when it comes to religion now anyway, so its not like we follow everything down to a T. Obviously we celebrate Diwali and Eid, but thats about it, !!! I do however have a mini temple in my house which has hindu gods aswell as the quaran in it so when my kids think of god they think of both. Things are getting a bit complex now with grandparents going on about sending my eldest to religion classes, to learn about islam, which i think is fair enough but the teachers are so backwards and i dont want him to go somewhere were they state `idol worshipping is a sin` etc...so i would rather i learn about islam myself and teach them my way !!! that way i get to also teach them hinduism, which i guess i would have to study a bit to.....!!!!! hope that helps !!

We are looking for some baby names that are both hindu and muslim for our first child. We don't know the sex yet, so ideas for names of both genders would be appreciated.

Hello to everybody!!!!!!
I am a muslim girl whose been with a punjabi boy for nearly 5 yrs. Just got married last year. my husband is not that religious. we both follow our own religion n are very happy as we have a very good understanding between us. my parents dont know that we are married cause we are afraid to tell them but my husbands parents know. -i need advise as what i should do. thank u

sweety, sounds like you're in a serious situation.

You should seek professional advise and support. The following are some councelling places that are trained to deal with Asian specific issues:

www.asianfamilycounselling.org.uk/

http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/26738940/

Hi All, I'm a muslim and my
wife is hindu. We are looking
for some baby(Expecting)
names(Boy and Girl) that are
common in both hindu and
muslim religion.If any one who
had inter-religion marrige and
had baby with common name
can email me to
parifs@gmail.com

Thanks in advance

wow I didnt realise how popular mixed religion marraiges have become in asian society... Bea I will be interested to learn how you get on when teaching your children about two very contradicting religions... Sticking to the basics I guess all religions have the same basic foundations so i guess you could start by teaching them right from wrong etc but as they grow older do you think their curiosity will guide them to whichever religion they will eventually choos (if any)... I think external factor's especially other kids at school and people in the community may sway them one way or the other!

Thats true, but the foundations of these marriages must be very very strong.

Having worked with young teens, the kind of extreme prejudicial crap that I hear of between Sikh lads and Pakistani lads against the other is something that ''may'' alienate kids from such mixed marriages from both sides, depending strongly though on the will of integration between both parents.

Bottom line, the marriage is JUST the start of the journey....

More power to cross border, cross faith marriages though. Respect.

Hi all,

Very interesting views above and all are respected. I am hindu and my wife is arabic. The problem we have is that we have a baby boy on the way and we would like a name that is meaningful to both backgrounds.

Your suggestions would be most appreciated.

Jeramiah Goldstien

Hi all

I liked the posts very interest especially the good stories that goes well, here comes my story sorry but enjoy the long read.
I am a 29 year old Muslim and my partner is 26 year old Guajarati, we have been going out for a year and are very happy and been living together for 3 months and expecting our 1st child together she is 2 months gone I�m just so happy.
Our life is full of stress at the moment we are having problems with her side of the family her dad is a proper control freak his mood goes hot and cold, I have heard him on speaker phone that he and his family hates Muslims, whites, blacks, etc (he is just a sad racist) and he use to hit my partner when she lived at home, he once cut her with a knife on her arm and use to ring her mates every 5 seconds to see were why my partner has returned home from work yet that was some of the reasons why she left home, on the day she left I confronted the father he tried to act like a gangster then when he saw I didn�t back down he was like a coward, however I�m sure you can guess the rest typical thing that goes on my partner did run away and now we live together.
Her family blow hot and cold, they are nice to her now she has left then try and emotionally black mail her saying (mother) I left my job because you don�t live at home, your granddad is ill, your little niece is ill because you aren�t here, I know they will never accept me because I am a Muslim, but I don�t care my life goes on and I don�t have time for sad racists,
I have told her to keep in touch with them she spent divali with them etc but they still try their rubbish at one point her uncle and cousin followed her to work and threatened her to leave and come home etc etc, we got police involved they were good and we heard nothing of her family for a week then uncle thought he was a gangster again, he threatened to kill me and my family, so I confronted him I had my brother and a few friends with me, I went to her uncle, dad and cousin saying leave my partner alone your issue is with me and me being a Muslim and her uncle started to cry and they locked the door ( typical cowards)
Any how I�m not gonna go on and on with her family but my issue is like we are so so happy together we are wondering do we tell them that we are expecting or just leave them to it, my partner yes she rings them and yes her father is nice on the phone (but he aint all their, must have different persona).
My family at 1st wasn�t pleased because I didn�t want my partner to convert but now my mom is happy for us, I introduced her to my uncle he gave us a new TV, laptop, money, kitchen set for the flat,
We respect each other religion, we are both so happy, but why can�t they accept it, yes as a previous post we will let our kid decide what he/she wants,
I�m just fed up of their emotional blackmail stuff, etc etc, I just wanted to post this out get some stress out of my system.
They mentioned in the past if she ever got pregnant they hoped the did didn�t survive because he is a Muslim

You do people have to be so harsh about religion, etc etc

Just to clarify, Gujarati is not actually a religion.

It is a region/state in India. Majority of people there are Hindu, but there are a lot of muslims there as well.

So any suggestions for names please ?

HI

I know is not a religion but the way her father goes on and compares how great they are to others.

Either way i have given him the option to be apart of our lives but if they continue to be racist then their loss

Anything anyone ?

Your suggestions for names would be most appreciated (boy)

Some unique names shared by both Sikhs and Muslims in the Punjab region are.. Kabir, Zoravar, Zareena (or Kareena/ Sareena.. all have same meaning), Manat, Bakhtawar, Mukhtair, Kahn, Jasmine, Eqbal... there are so many such names...

Both marriages are sucessfull.Some times only it becomes failure.I agree with love marriage.
===================

john

[url=http://makemoney.bizoppjunction.com]Make Money[/url]

hi all, i wanted some advice, i am a muslim girl and my boyfriend is hindu. we both love each other alot. we both are really happy together and want to marry in the future. but the problem is that it will not be acceptable in my family. at the end i will have to choose between him and my family. i love my family alot and do not want to loose them. but i also love my boyfriend alot and i will not marry anyone else accept him because i love him very much and he is the perfect one for me. i am really stressed dont know what to do. can somebody please give me advice and tell me what i should do. thanks

Dear Everyone on this site,

I need to clarify a few points concerning the Islamic position on Muslim-Hindu marriages.

(a) It is not permissible for a Muslim man to marry any non-Muslim woman unless she is one of the people of the Book, i.e., a Jewish or Christian woman.

(b) It is not permissible for Muslim woman to marry any non-Muslim man, regardless of whether they are of the people of the Book, i.e., a Jewish or Christian.

If one does not follow either (a) or (b) as applicable, then God (Allah) considers the marriage invalid.

God (Allah) tells us in the Quran:

�And do not marry idolatresses till they believe (worship Allah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress), even though she pleases you��[Chapter 2 (al-Baqarah) Verse 221]


We should all consider why we are in this world, i.e. the purpose of life.

God (Allah) has created Mankind for a great purpose, which is to worship God (Allah) alone with no partner or associate. God (Allah) says tells us in the Quran:

�And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone).� [Chapter 51 (al-Dhaariyaat) Verse 56]

God (Allah) sent the Messengers to call mankind to this purpose. He has sent 224,000 Prophets, including Noah, Abraham, Moses and Jesus (peace be upon them all). The last Messenger of God was Muhammad (peace be upon him).
�O mankind! Verily, there has come to you the Messenger (Muhammad) with the truth from your Lord. So believe in him, it is better for you. But if you disbelieve, then certainly to Allaah belongs all that is in the heavens and the earth. And Allaah is Ever All-Knowing, All-Wise. [Chapter 4 (al-Nisaa�) Verse 170]

God (Allah) tells us in the Quran that He does not accept any religion other than Islam:

�And whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers� [Chapter 3 (Aal �Imraan) Verse 85]


It is difficult to make sacrifices in this world and to forgo the love one has for another. But, if you are a Muslim and are sincere in your belief, then you need to obey His commands. He created the Heavens, the Earth and Mankind and He wants us to live our lives in a certain manner. If this means that believers (i.e. Muslims) are not permitted to marry Hindus, then we need to ensure we fulfil our duty towards God in this respect. Again, I want to emphasise that a marriage between a Muslim and a Hindu is not considered valid by God and the marriage contract in essence is rendered meaningless.

It would be beneficial if the Muslims in question encouraged their Hindu partners to learn about Islam through reading the Quran and the Biography of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), and encouraged them to accept Islam and become Muslims.

Hinduism doesnt allow marraige to a muslim and islam doesnt allow marraige to a hindu so if people have taken this step and formed a legal union they have stepped out of a particular religion... at that point they shouldnt even care ...

hey,

ive skim-read thru the msgs here and for a while they made my eyes waterand become teary, im a 21 year old muslim girl and im in love with a 22 year old hindu. we reli are perfect 4 eachotha. this is my 2nd relationship, my 1st was with a muslim guy and afta what he done 2 me(horriblee!!!!) i havnt been able to trst guys, but met this guy at work. the thing is we relii wana get married and neitha of us can convert, things are kool for him coz his family will deff accept me but i knw my parents, my older brother and family will disown me totaly. and i dnt wana luze them. not only that i can bare to think of hurting my parents, wat they have been through in life to bring me up, i knw every parent does, but thye hav been through a stuggle and wen i see their faces and think of wat if i told them it kills me inside. but i knw i love this guy, the problem is only from my side. even if my parents jus found out my opinion on mixed religion relaitionship they wud propa go mad.
im so confused. i cnt tell him and let them decide, maybi they wud be kul, as ive known of uncles who got married to christain gals and recently a distant cuzin of mine 2, but thats guys, it still very different for girls who cnt speak up, jus lik me,
please help me, any advice wud be useful
tc

Armani why don't you sit down and have a good old heart to heart with your mother? you know woman to woman and tell her how you feel. but maybe you should see it from your parents point of view too. There needs to be a bit of give and take

I think its great that some of the posters on here have enjoyed a successful mixed marriage. i personally dnt agree with it. I am a hindu and made the dreadful step by dating a muslim guy at 21 for two years and i have to say it was the biggest mistake of my life. i felt trapped and unhappy, not to mention forced to choose between my religion and him. I am in a much better place now, but like i said, hats off to those who have made it work.

I am now married to my soulmate. my hubby is hindu and i gave birth to twin girls 6 months ago and life couldn't be sweeter.

hey thanx 4 dat maya007, u knw sumtymes i feel lyk i need 2 hav that chat wiv my mum, she keeps all my secrets bt i think sumthing lyk this even she wont be able 2 keep, i undastnd wat u went through, making a choice is so difficult. as far i can see me and him are nuthin lyk ive ever experienced, my hart tells me he wud kp me happy but i duno how 2 work around this religion issue. at first it didnt seem ryte 2 me eitha and i felt uncomfortable him being a hindu and me muslim but im in love with his personality. yet im not strong enuf 2 stand up for this love. we've alwys stood to the point that one day it will hav 2 end but i duno how eitha are gna cope.
thanx again :)
x

Hi all,

I am a Hindu girl in a relationship with a Muslim guy. We are thoroughly committed to each other, and are prepared to fight for our relationship with our family. Neither of us will be converting, and we have agreed to respect each others religion, and practice them together where possible, e.g. celebrate diwali and eid, not eating pork / beef. We will bring up our children to understand and accept both religions, although at some point they will have to make a decision as to what they choose to follow. What I would like to know is, is it possible for us to have a muslim wedding ceremony, if I am not converting? We would like to hold wedding ceremonies in line with both religions, but I'm not sure if there are muslim leaders who would perform such a ceremony? Does anyone have any ideas on this?

Thanks

Hi
I havnt been here for a while but bear I hope you managed to find a suitable name and if you have had the baby then many congrats.

Well what can I say my eldest is nearly six and yes the questions are now starting, but its really nice that he can now go to mosque and fit in, he understands how to pray and can even say some basic prayers...equally if he went to a mandir he would now how to behave and would quite easily be able to name most gods/goddesses, he also loves to watch the new kiddie hindu religous DVDs.

So on that note we are headed in a good direction. I understand that the questions will get tougher and more complex but i really beleive that both my kids will understand that mummy and daddy are different but all in all we are a family and united we will stand.

I also just wanted to say chum981....thankyou for the verses but different people translate the quran in many different ways and from what I gather as long as you beleive in GOD you are ok....its the non beleivers that are the problem.....How can god be so amazing if he slates other people religions....I dont think that is the case its how you choose to read the verses and translate them in your own mind....unfortunatley most people think the same way as you. I also dont think Hindu people should read the scriptures to become muslim....you have no right to say that one religion is far superior than another....sorry

anyway all the best to you all, inter faith marriages are hard but when you have beautiful children to look at who cares....as long as you get the balance.

Can't believe this thread is still here..

some very interesting points.. Heard them all before..

Mixed marriages only work if your not very religious.. Ask those in them..
Be honest..

Btw.. What gives you the right to interpret religion as it suits you.. In the name of love..

Im hearing choices this choices that.. Of those in these marriages, if you feel that giving your children choices to choose which religion they want.. How many of you would agree on your child choosing homosexuality? Afterall, that is apart of the popular culture now. And your words.. a choice.

Is it really about choices or about living with a set of god given rules to help you through many trials and tribulations that life throws at one.. Of which one is love.. Even love itself has rules.. Think about it..

Love can be a very selfish thing.. But please lets not start talking about backward and forward religions.. The religion is there.. you like it and believe it.. Then follow it.. It you dont then do your own thing in the name of good human beings and dont drag religion into it.. Religion doesnt sit on the fence..

May god choose to help you with your choices in life.. Love, health, wealth, famine, war, oppression, pain, suffering and so much more that we need guidance on.

Blesses
M.g x

a question aimed at those in hindu / muslim relationships, so bea and poplartree, your answers would be duly appreciated!

as mentioned above, my partner is muslim. i've always said i don't want to convert. did either of you convert ( or did your partners convert) to islam in order to keep families happy? i don't think i would convert, as i would not follow the religion whole heartedly, and therefore i don't think that is right, however i would appreciate your thoughts?

Hi to everyone, iam very inspired by your stories and it builds confident in me.i am a hindu girl with a muslim boy and we have been together for around 5 years now. we both want a future together and have always had an understanding an mutual relationship. currently what is holding us back is his parents he says that i will never be accepted into his family but i cant imagine that.can anyone help me to away round this please, i know my parents will accept him. this is the only thing holding us back and moving into the future and having a life together. i just want to know how the rest of you managed to get through this stage.
Thanks x

hi everyone esp popaltree and bea,
i am s hindu girl and have been seeing a muslim boy for 2 and a half years. we are planning our wedding and would like to have it solemnized bot ways....however we will both need to canvert to do that? how did you manage both the ceremonies if you did not convert?

Hi Evone
I am so glad to see that how Hindu-Muslim marriages are increasing. I am a Hindu girl in lov with a Muslim guy since 2 yrs and we have planned to marry. Nobody of us is goin' to get converted. We have to tell our parents yet, and so I was wondering what's goin' to happen, b'coz my family is very strict about this. I am sure there is going to be a big scene. But I was curious about this post of Redrose that her parents wil agree, she knows. I am surprised how is she so confident that her parents will allow her to marry a Muslim boy. Can she or someone can give some tips how u people managed to convince your families. This is amazing guys, to read all ur posts, truely inspiring...

hi evone
one more question I had, which Poplartee and bea can really help. Can u plz tell that without converting were u accepted by families of ur Muslim counterparts. Does that mean, that converting to Islam is not a necessity for Hindu girl for marrying a Muslim guy,.

Hi, I know it will be hard for my parents and family to accept him initially but i believe that eventually they will come round. You have to believe and be strong, and go for what you want.
Iam finding it difficult as we need help in trying to help his family understand, thats whats holding us back. We both know its going to be very hard but weve been together for so long so we must have done something right.
Neither of us is expected to convert and have always had that mutual understanding.
But pls if anyone is out there that could help me in ways to make his parents or even my parents understand or begin to accept i would be very grateful...thank you x

Sweetgirl, i have not yet told my parents but i feel the key is talking to them and giving them time to understand. I feel that it is the case with all interfaith marriages, once the initial shock is over hopefully things can only get better. This is my personal opinion but am open to hear any more suggestions as i too need the same help! x

Hi redrose
i agree with u. Actually me and my bf both are very sure that our marriage is going to work, we love each other so well and are ready to compromise for each other in situations too, if needed. But its always said that always ur family is first and should be happy. I know that I will have to convince my family emotionally, b;coz I can't adjust with an arranged marriage as my parents want. I don't even want to give such a thought for arranged marriage. Even if my parents will agree, they won't be happy still. I hope doing this is ok but I am not able to even think for any other option for my life. Its really strange, different religion, different status still love is not going to be overcome by family pressure. Even if it turns out to be wrong in long run, I still feel blessed that I am in love. Initially I thought that love is blind etc and I will be acting foolish. But its ok for me. I am prepared to take the risk. What do you think? U must have the same experinces too redrose... Do these thoughts cross ur mind too...
Don't u too feel that even after belonging to such conservative indian Hindu society, we girls are planning to take a very big risk. Which I pray would be worth our lives.
God bless u too..

Hi redrose
My parents are so damn strict about religion thing and marrying a Muslim guy is the issue which they can't even dream. This is goin to be tough, very tough. I still have time to think over how to convince them etc. I feel that I am going to tell them that if ever I am going to marry, then he will be the one...otherwise I am not going to marry at all. The reason being- if I ask them that ok..this is the guy and u see and tell me whether this is worth... ha.. answer is obviously a BIG NOOOO..
So I think the desired approach is to be polite, yet very firm. They should understand that being a mature person, we have judged our love in our best possible way and we are capable of maintaining it life-long and are taking that responsibility on us------I mean it should be very convincing. B'coz our parents also luv us so much and want us to be happy.
Hope that helps a bit..

This IS getting tiresome now

There are a few that work but there are a lot more that fail

I appreciate all the success stories on here and hats off to the lot of you. But religion does rear its ugly head in the end- especially if kids are involved and over ebaring in laws

Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt!

hi guys,

It was great reading the whole forum. I am also a Hindu gurl in a relationship with a muslim guy for about 2 1/2 yrs and we are extremely happy and want to get married.
Conversion was the main issue between us. Muslim weddings, the Nikaah, is not legal unless both are Muslims. Well not agreeing to it, i myself started reading alot about Islam and learning about it. And got to know ALOT of truth which ppl really dont know. And i somewhat believe that even converting to Islam is not such a big deal altogether. Definitely i am not insulting Islam by only converting to it for love and then not abiding to its traditions.
Honestly, my belief is that there is just ONE faith. And thats your faith towards GOD alone. You could call GOD...GOD in Arabic or you could call him Sanskrit. it does'nt really matter. There is really just ONE lissening to you.

Since i want to get married to him and we cant ignore world's traditions...then why not convert ? For me am learning something new ... Its a risk! GREAT RISK.... and am scared as well but things could work...or they would'nt...but i guess just have faith.

Ive shared very randomn things and thoughts ... and i know there is probably no one who thinks like me!

Is it something wrong ?

Hi nids1810

Nice to know that more such girls are out there. One thing I wanted to know is that how come then people have already married without converting if such nikah is not legal. I mean in this forum many girls have posted messages about their successful marriages without converting themselves.
Ya u'r correct in the respect that u are abiding by faith that God is one. That's definitely true. I also love a muslim guy and we are also planning to marrry. But on asking him he told me its my wish whether I myself want to convert or not. He has no personal wish to get me converted. I also love God who is one, and respect all religions equally. But personally I feel that if 2 people love each other, then is issue is secondary. I mean it should not be forced upon you and you should make an independent decision whether u personally want or not.
Its not that by not converting u'r insulting islam,,, and if u'r converting by ur own wish then it should not be for just the sake of conversion.
Whatever u do, do with ur heart faithfully and not just for the sake of it. Discuss with ur guy too properly and be together.
God bless u a happy life..

hi ppl ,

i am a hindu girl who is relationship with a muslim guy and we planning to get married ..of course the same issues am facing as well ..parents oppostion ,conversion to islam etc would apprecaite your thought's on these issues

Hi sweetgirl,

honestly I have no clue how they have got married on legal terms. Maybe there are ways that you can, but i am 100% sure that , as per Islamic laws, you cannot.
But it does'nt really matter now because they are extremely happy and at the end thats what matters. If both the sides hv a smimilar view about it, it shouldnt be a problem.

In my case, his parents are 2..traditional ( if thats wat u call it) and religious. And i dont find that a wrong thing. Atleast they have some direction.
Anitha - hi.. the problem your facing is that his parents want u 2 convert and wont accept you without that?

Ok guys, share your views with me on this.......
Do you think that your "Religion" is your identity / your personality? If you start praying to GOD in a different method...you become a different person?

Not stating anything! Just want your view on this.

Hi nids 1810
I definitely agree with u-- if both sides views are same and both are happy, then there is nothing to bother about and i don't think we need anything else.. In my case my parents are too strict about religion thing, and marrying a Muslim is out of question. But there is no point of conversion from either of us.
Besides, that's correct that by following a different religion ur personality can't change.. But my personal view is that, if I have been brought up in a Hindu and that also a typical Punjabi religion, I won't be able to carry out or completely adopt a diff religion, esp at this age when I am mature and already,,,like my personality is developed happily in a particular way of life.
Also since my boyfriend so much appreciates the way i am already..so I feel that even if I am able to maintain my individuality as a person too, so that is fine.
Even its not like that his parents would be very happy that I am not converting b'coz that is what which is expected traditionally as u say..but as long as my boyfriend is with me and his family wants his happiness..then its fine.
I have no personal view that I don't like Islam etc, I respect each and every relion with my heart..but the reason is only that there is a phase when u have already gained maturity and just want to be what u are.
Basically marriage is for growth of us as a couple and individually too..so i feel that I can balance this religionwise diversity beteween us without any problems.
Actually this all depends from person to person.
This is all very nice like u'r asking views etc. I really appreciate.

Hi evone

I really wonder that how come so many H-M marriages have taken place and carried on successfully, if Islam doesn't allow a legal status to such marriages.
I mean this should't have been possible b'coz a marriage has to be legal .isn't it..
Plz give views regarding this.

Hi guys
I am sorry..actually what I meant to ask is how such marriages are taking place if nobody is converting, how those gain a legal status as per Islam.

yeah even I would want to know!

I think in India you can get married in the court without converting. This isnt 100% correct info though... better to check up!

Hi guys, sorry moving away from what you guys have been talking about. I am in need of desperate help to try and convince my boyfriends family about me. I need help on what i can do because i dont want to ruin his relationship with his family. any ideas...pls would help! thanks x

Hi redrose
what I feel is that the main role of convincing ur boyfriend's family is that of ur boyfriend. See, I am also goin' thru the same situation so I understand ur need of desperate help, as u say it.
If u are 100% sure that ur boyfriend doesn't want u to convert then its ok. Basically what my bf told me is that he will take the responsibility about convincing his family b'coz ..he knows well how to do that in a best possible way.
I don't think there is much for which u should worry. U can tell him that 'ur prepared for adjustments, whtever is needed. Rest would be better managed by him.
In short,,I think that if he is serious with mrg issue then it would be better if he takes responsibility for his family about this issue, from the very beginning of ur proper long- term relationship.
This is the best way in my opinion so as to save his relationship from ruining too.
If they are too rigid, then may be either u'll be expected to convert by them..or...ur bf will have to give up the good terms with his family.
See all this is just a frank open talk, don't take anything too personally. We are all sailing in the same boat...///
God bless u... Stay in touch.

hey ol :)
its was wonderful reading the forum.....i actually came across it while searchin "are hindu and muslim marriages succesful".....
well i m a hindu girl in realtionship with a muslim guy.....we havent been together for long but we do have plans to get married as soon as possible......
wot i am worried about is that me being a hindu and he a muslim would arise some kind of a problem beetween us....(i dont want to loose him....
and then theres the whole family problem too :(......i am afraid that our parents are not going to agree on this.....mayb his would but not mine.....or wot if they dont like me just beacuse m a hindu.....and he has to leave his family(which he said he is goin to do if he has to)...but i dont want to see him gettin hurt....i dont want to hurt anybody......
i wasnt much worried about it till some days ago....wen on a family reunion my mom and my aunts started talking abt our marriages and all......and all of them said that they dont mind if any of us finds anybody....but they just dont want a muslim son/daughter in law......
i know its so stupid of me....but this little conversation has got to me.....i cant stop thinkin about this...i am afraid what if because of this whole religious drama we both get seperated or some problem arises in our relationship (i have said it before too)....i don want to loose him.....for anything......but i dont want to hurt anybody too.....i m just confused....afraid...and even irritated.....it makes me think that it would have been better if we would have been of a same religion......???

well now i should stop......i have written to much of a non sense.....

i just needed to get it out of my system....

take care ol....

xo xo xo xo xo....

I am a Sikh guy and have been in relationships with Muslim women in the past. As far as my experience goes, this is the most tricky combination in terms of couples because of the insistence on many Muslims that the partner converts to Islam. If that is not the case then you can make the relationship work but it will be very, very difficult to do so. So I wish anyone going down that road the best of luck.

I also want to say that I found some of the commentary earlier a little self-righteous. In my experience Muslim families are just as racist and bigoted against Hindus and Sikhs as vice versa ... ESPECIALLY when their daughters want to marry a Sikh or Hindu guy. And on balance, I have found that non Muslim Asians tend to be slightly more liberal towards the issue than Muslims.

Finally, I know lots of Sikhs and Hindus who have married out of their faith, and it is unheard of for a Hindu or Sikh to insist that their partner change their faith as a pre-requisite to marry them. This is the big difference in attitude, I believe.

Hi gini,
So u are also one of us. See don't u think its better to take some time and not be in such a hurry. Definitely do what u feel..but taking some sweet time to think all over is always better rather being in such a haste.. This is not a decision to made in a confused irritated state , my dear, anyways, nobody of ur family is goin' to get u married without ur choice overnight,,,and forcefully.
I think that u should discuss everything with ur bf properly, try to weigh all aspects, and just go a bit slow.
Same is with my family, they will accept any religion BUT never a Muslim.

Hi sweetmangolover,

U'r true about this racial part, but what do u think..like is this racial bigotism exists in educated Muslim families too.
Plz share some more thoughts about this, if u have..
Also do u have any idea about whether such marriages are legal without conversion.

i posted sum tyme ago on this discussion about my problem, in short im a muslim girl seeing a hindu boy, neither of us want 2 convert but my family will have an issue, not that i have told them, im too scared to. but my real issue now is that my bf visa have been declined and he has to return to india, not that he'l stay there he will tryn going to a diff country or try 2 return watevas the case,but i duno wat to do..i cnt live wivout him, but il most probably be disowned if i tell family, the thought of him leaving me is killing me, i knw our relationship will carry on regardless of where he is, but this carry on, i duno wat to do, im stuck...so confused i don't even knw wat to write here, all i knw is i need in, either now or later in life..... :(

oh...its nice to see so many people actively involved in such a sensitive conversation...I am a Muslim girl involved with a Hindu guy since past 2.5 years...we are planning to get married...and as other girls I have problem convincing my parents...they have given me an option to go to him at the cost of leaving them forever...This option is quite fearing to me as no child can survive without parents being around...his parents welcome me with open arms...Not sure if my parents would accept me once i get married to him...also my parents want me to get married to other person if I am not marrying to him...I am not sure wht do i do here...can someone pls help me...

Hi evone

Only after goin thru this forum I came to know that such large number of Hindu- Muslim relations exist nowadays. I feel sometimes really sad why all this religion problem exists and can't anything be done about it ever..
Myself involved with a Muslim guy, I know its such a big hurdle to overcome to get a successful marriage.
Hi Yogsop. I think that u should first decide that what do you genuinely want for your happiness and are you independently ( i mean without ur family support) capable to carry on the responsibility of this relationship.
I know parents are also soo much loving caring and all this is goin to hurt them lots and lots.
Really tough situations these are. If u feel that lifelong u are going to be happy ( and by this I mean a genuine happiness) with this guy, then go for it. Ultimately we all have one life, either its goin to be blessed or cursed.. what else. Why to regret later by marrying a person who is not ur choice, Parents are also goin to select a person who they think would be best for you, but ultimately that marriage can also fail if u'r not into it.. and if ur mature enough, then be brave to take the risk. This is what I view for my life.
Trust your guts and trust God.

Hi sweetgirl, thanx for such a sweet and matured feedback...for me my only problem is i cant leave him and at the same time i can't leave my parents...wish if i was able to take some step forward...but i see myself only going backward...sometimes even feel like going out of this world...but can't do that...with respect to independency...i am independent enough to take over the responsibility...but though the fear of losing everything (mom, dad and family as a whole) is still on my head...i am not sure if leaving everybd behind will i be able to lead my life happily...i am sure the guilt of hurting my closest one will always go hand in hand with me for lifetime...this will only worsen our life...my BF have confidence that my parents will accept me someday after we get married...but i dont know how far its true...i have seen cases where parents accept their child...but then i know my parents will never accpet me once i am gone to him...

Hi Yogsop,

Your fear is very natural, nothing different to that extent.. see obviously u have to choose and the best judge is you are yourself. Many times I have heard that family later accepts but that's not sure.
Plus I think that Muslim families are a bit more rigid and strict in this manner , esp for their girls.
Does any of u or ur BF going to convert or so.. B'coz may be ur family will ask him to convert as a last option, which won;t be and shouldn't be done too.
So dear, think over it.. See, after marriage with anybody else too, u have to leave ur famiy, but your relation won't be sour with them.
But if u seriously feel that u love him ( and vice- versa too, for sure) and u are mature enough, then don't leave him.
See, I don't know what I am saying will be right or wrong , but.. ultimately its ur life and ur happiness. There shoudn't be any regrets later on. We make our destiny by our own choice always. take care,,

hi all,
i was a hindu girl who got married to amuslim guy 2 years ago.i dont suggest inter -relegious marriage to the people ,especially when one of the partner keeps a condition of conversion.when my boy friend first asked me to convert,i said i will not,and we broke up.But i could not forget him and came to a conclusion that i will convert after all all relegions are the same when it comes to the relationship with god.but i was wrong.it was painful going through it starting from changing my name to not wearing bindi.i lost my identity.i was feeling a loss. Then my husband started expecting me to do prayers.and frequently threating to divorce if i fail to accept islam.

so please dont think that things will get better after marriage if you convert.things will get worse.you are going to hurt your parents. I have hurt my parents in lot ways,by abandoning the name they gave me.by abandoning the relegion they gave me.

iam really sad.i dont know what is in store for me in the future but i dont encourage hindu/muslim girls to the partners of opposite relegion if they have to give up their identity.

sum1 plzzzzz help me - my bf uk visa has been declined and will have to return 2 india sooner or later, but will move to another country from there....however that is not the issue, we reli wana b togtha but don't knw how cuz i knw my family will neva eva eva eva accept him or us 2getha, i dnt even have the guts to tell them, esp my brother! he will kill me, several times we have discussed me running away, we have a great understanding and niether of us will convert and he's more than happy for future kids to practise islam, his parents will also accept me. wat do i do...i cnt tel parents, i cnt leave him, do i tke the step of leaving home wivout telling them, i am already not happi at home anyways bcuz of some family issues although i know wat pain and shame id put my parents through ...

Hi dear armani

Its not like u'r weak that ur not able to say openly to ur family. In fact, reason is, that we are Indian girls who have a strong ties with our families and have concern for their social reputation too. and this is never a weakness. This is someting to be proud of.
Can u try talking to ur mom about this and tell her about ur firm decision that u r goin to marry him. I don't know..do u feel running away from home is a right decision. Its a tough situation but may be at least talking with ur mom may do something. Rest I know like brother and father, they are not goin to listen at all.
May be its of some help.

thanx 4 da help, my bf even sd he wud convert to islam, but during a genera; chat wiv my mum the other day i understood that she wudnt even accept a converted muslim, after this me and my bf decided that we wud carry on lyk this and coz his visa has been refused here in uk he has applied to go to canada and has got a job jus waiting for visa, we decided that once hes gone there i wud try to get a job their or do mba or sumthing and move out 2 canada, we was fine wiv the plan. but yesterday all of a sudden i ended things with him, reason being that over these days of planning everything i constantly see my family i live wiv my and he duznt. and i jus felt that if i was to do doing this i wud be back stabbing my parents, they wud trust and send me to canada and id break their trust, moreover i hold alot of my responsibilities at home coz my brother does nuthing, although he's married n has kids he jus uses my parents etc. however i felt shit and i explained dat 2 him dat i cnt do this coz they hav alot of faith in me, he understnds and says that he wud hav prob dun the same thing, parents are everything. i knw for a fact my parents wud die if i left them and cheated on them, me and my bf are still talking, and its only been a day but i cnt live wivout him, i thought my decision frm yesterday wud make me feel lyk yeh im make a strong decision but im still left in confusion. my frnd suggested it jus better to go on a break, esp now that he'l b going india soon and see how we feel about eachother and decide from there onwards. im jus so confused. i love them both so equally, my bf is my future and i knw no1 can be more perfect and compatiable for me, on the other hand my parents who made so many sacrifices for me, have faith and trust me who'd die if i put them on shame. my bf is sayin he will wait his whole life 4 me, and i feel the exact same, i can wait forever jus 2 b with him....regretfully i knw is horribloe 2 say this but i can only b wiv him if my parents are no mur, well atlst my mum, shes the main person, my dad wudnt bother if shes not here and i dnt care wat my brother says. its just mum and i hate to think lyk dat coz i dnt want that 2 happen either. il wait my whole life to be with him ...wat do i do ???help me

Hi Ladki Unknown,

after reading wat uve said, i feel really bad and i pray things get better for you. Really. No matter, whatever circumstances were in front of u, ur husband should hv supported u n not threatened 2 divorce u.
If you dont mind me saying this, I honestly feel the reason ur really sad rite now is becuz you agreed to convert ONLY becuz u wanted 2 get married 2 him...but not becuz u wanted to wholeheartedly. I mean you were not prepared.
Let me ask u one thing..... Did u ever read about Islam before getting married?Did u know what u were gettin into??
Becuz if u did, then u would hv been prepared for all this. Praying, is mandatory in Islam, infact is it mandatory in any relegion. U shuld hv known that Wearing a Bindi, Lighting a diya, wearing sindoor, is not a part of Islam.

It is true that ALL relegions lead to 1 GOD. As i said before, U can name him and pray 2 him in any language, it is just one lissening. But your relegion is not ur IDENTITY. Your identity is what you create for urself.

Sweetie, if your still with him, ur future obviously lies with him. N i would suggest you to read about what u hv gotten into. N understand it. Take it positively.Hopefully things vl change and lead to a better situation.
If ur not with him, then 4get abt the past and move on. I know easy said than done...but u hvto.

Hi evone,

Dear armani,
U'r just me.I felt as if u've written down my life here. Only difference is that I am a Hindu girl and my bf is Muslim, and u'r case is vice- versa. Rest is same. I left India b'coz my family was after me to marry with their choice and I want to marry my bf. He is still in India and will try to come to the country where I am. He is not goin to marry anyone else . I thought that may be when when I'll leave India, I will forget him slowly or at least try. But its now more than an year and my feelings for him are same, even stronger. We communicate still, only emails.
Finally, I ve decided that I am goin to marry him only. Nobody of my family knows yet anythin about this. I am already doin a wrong thing by hiding, I know. I luv my family too much. But a Muslim guy is impossible for them to accept, in any form- converting or not. Still, I am goin to wait for him and will try in any possible way, so that my family accepts him,, which I know is next to impossible. I am not going to take any step in near future but after say an year, I am goin to tell family about this and I am not scared about this. Dear, my family is damn strict about this love and religion thing. But, now I have realized that if I'll marry anyone, like u know, arranged marriage, then it is goin to be v difficult for me to adjust. I know that its never like anyone dies etc if u do somethin like this. So plz don't think about things like that for ur mom also. I can imagine ur state, I am into this too, I love evone so much and my family loves me like anything. But, things go right in future, when ur family will see actually that ur happy with marriage according to ur choice. Slowly they will come to know and will realize that u were not wrong with ur decision, but u've to be sure from ur side that u two are goin to be happy together, if u marry each other. If u'r confident with ur choice and are sure about ur future at least, then marry the person you love. Otherwise, wait for sometime, time will show u the way itself. If u feel later that u will be able to live with someone else, then marry with ur family's choice. Otherwise marry ur bf. Have faith in God. everythin is goin to be fine.
I hope this helps. God bless u...

hey thank you so much for your response, i think we'v jus decided to leave things to time and carry on in the mean time, althoug i knw i only eva wana be wiv him in lyf and same goes for him. we will wait for weneva its the right time. i hope things for u work out. pray 4 me 2 thank u xx

hi All

i have read through all of your conversations and it truly inspires me. i have been with my bf for the past 4 years and recently he has asked me to convert to Islam. in the beginning of our relationship i thought we agreed on having two weddings and not converting and he was fine with it but now suddenly he wants me to convert or we end our relationship. he also wants to live with his parents and i have always wanted my own home. i feel really lost - as i dont want to lose him but i cant convert out of love for him when i am not sincerely doing it out of love for Islam. i want to wear a bindi when i go to temple and i want to celebrate both eid and diwali. i am willing to learn Islam with him - i agreed to attend marriage classes but i also dont want to untie the bond that i have in Hinduism. i also believe that we all pray to one God.

please advise me. those who have married and its working did you have to convince them as well or am i fighting a loosing battle?

im sorry to hear of your situation capetowngirl.

it makes me sad, that after all these years of promising you not to convert, that you have to. he has broken his word to you.it is up to you if you do convert, but you will have to give up and change your life in a dramatic way, and you may feel you are losing your identity. i am in a relationship with a muslim, and i for one, would never convert; it is against what is in my heart, and i could never be true to islam.

ask him, whether he would convert for you? as if it is real love, your feelings and respect for each should be mutual and equal.

i hope that whatever you decide, is for the best for you. all the best

hello
i am writing a feature for The Guardian about inter-faith relationships and the challengs they pose. Some of the stories on here are really powerful- if anyone is interested in talking to me about their individual stories please get in touch. i can keep contributions anonymous or change names.
email me directly via my website
sarfrazmanzoor.co.uk

or via the guardian
sarfraz.manzoor@guardian.co.uk

thanks very much

Hey Cape Town Girl

My advice is to end it. He has already broken his word.

If he is giving you the ultimatum of either convert or its over, you really seriously need to ask yourself if you are willing to sacrifice your upbringing, faith, identity for someone who very clearly, is not willing to change his religion for you. Did you think of your parents in this? Imagine how they would feel.

If he has gone back on his word now, what's to say he won't do it again in the future? What if he forbids you from wearing your bindi and going to the temple then what? What would be next? Giving up your freedom, your job your career?

Sorry to sound harsh, but I was in the same situation a few years ago. I'm a Hindu woman who got married to a Muslim man and regardless of the success stories on here (clearly, these are people who have worked extremely hard for their marriages to work and have been fortunate enough to have supportive partners), it does not always work. As with any relationship, there needs to be a lot of compromise and give and take. Unfortunately for me, I learnt that the hard way. He was unwilling to accompany me to Diwali celebrations, temple and even my sister�s wedding and other relatives because it was not �how Muslims do it�, yet I was expected to cover my hair and act like a proper Muslim girl and accompany him and his family to all his activities. But I was not a proper Muslim as I was brought up as a Hindu, this is the only faith I know and love and respect and it got to a point where I was constantly giving in and was not getting anything in return. It was all one sided so no wonder it ended in divorce!

I'm in such a happy place right now, I am now married to someone of my own religion-which is what it should have always have been and now have gorgeous twins

You need to ask yourself the question, if I convert to Islam because my bf's insistence would I truly be happy? Will he do the same for me?

Marriage is not a joke, it should be taken seriously.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well x

Hi Cape Town girl,

This is somethin abt which ur BF is wrong.. it is not fair at all to create such issues if u'r in luv, since 4 yrs and previously he never asked for that.
Such situation is tough for u b'coz i can imagine myself in ur position..and i feel that it will hurt.Besides, if there is emotional attachment with someone over a long time, this is goin to be hard.
But ur bf is not right dear..if in ur position, I would've tried to withdraw from this relationship.This is not that luv which he is showing by asking u to convert etc...i don't think in true luving relationship, someone would expect the other to convert or otherwise ending the relationship. Think wisely and then take any decision abt conversion, if u sincerely want to. god bless u.

Hi
I have read all the conversations above.
I am a muslim girl married to a white guy who i was going out with for a year, now we have been married for a year. I was dis owned by my family when i married my husband who converted in islam and supported me in every way he could, after being married for a year my family have come to terms and are willing to acept us back in the family. People in mixed race relationships go through alot but if ur right for each other it only makes u stronger. I hope al you people who are stuggling in ur realationships follow ur heart and do the right thing for urself cos families blackmail, disown but in the end come round like it took my family a year to.

I am hindu and my boyfriend is muslim. We have been together for three years. He is six years older than me and is eager to get married as his parents are very old, and are pressuring him. They say things like, don’t you want to get married while we are alive etc, which is obviously very difficult to gut. He doesn’t have a close relationship with his parents, but he does love them deeply, and he has said to me on many occasions that if his parents pass away he wouldn’t want to marry me. However I am in the situation where I cant approach my parents with this for another 3-5 yrs minimum. So what if his parents do pass away in this time? I am so confused as to what to do. I do love him dearly, however we do fight constantly because of the situation we are in. We have broken up a million times, because there is no solution to our problem, but we always end up together. Any views are very welcome.

Campina - why be with someone who is clearly with you due to certain circumstances? I think you should move on and not take the risk of being with him because it sounds like he want to get married for his parents not because he wants to.

I am a new bee to this forums but am surprised to know that I am not alone. I find myself in similar situation like most of you - Hindu girl with a Muslim boy. I am glad to hear that this fusion can and has worked. I want to hear from anyone who is currently married and if there are regrets / thoughts/ gottchas that you know and you didn't before marriage?

I know a number of mixed religion couples.

The ones that work long term are those based on equality and mustual respect. ie THERE IS NO CONVERSION.

I think when one person 'converts' for another the relationship becomes unbalanced and unfair.

If you are in a mixed religion relationship and your partner is forcing you to convert, you should think twice - because they are NOT accepting you for who you are.

i was with a hindu-sikh boyfriend for 4 months but he left me saying that his mum won't acept me because i'm muslim. what shall i do i truly love him. shall i call his mum? i thought about it but i never spoke to her and she doesn't know me so idon't know if it is respectful to do that. i'm in france and he's in england so i don't know if i should call her.

Hi copperfield

I don't feel it is right for u to call his mom. He is a boy and this itself does not seem to to be a valid strong reason for him to leave you. If he also loves you truely, he would consider himself talking to his mom abt you. Plz don't mind anything, it is just an opinion thinking myself in ur position.

hello sweetgirl

you're right i can't do that. but i don't know what to do.

Ive came accross this site as ive found myself in a situation like much of the above.

Hindu girl meets Muslim guy....

I wouldn't say i'm that religious but he is to a certain extent.

At 1st he said he wouldn't want to change me but after speaking to some of his family members about me, he now tells me that i'd have to convert for our marriage to be accepted in Islam as i'm not a religion of the book.

This is really difficult for me as it will destroy many of my family members. I don't really know what to do as general everyday life with him is amazing and i'm not that religious anyway and am open to understanding his religion but i think i'd just be converting for him rather than cos it's something i believe. Surely that's wrong in itself and disrespectful to Islam?

But I can't give him up! Anyone got any ideas on what I should do?

Mia09, it's not disrespectful to islam - its disrespectful to you.

Have you asked him why he does not consider converting for you?

If you convert, you have already started a relationship in his favour. What next? What happens with kids?

Its embarrasing that Asian women STILL do not stand up for themselves and demand equality in a relationship.

This happens all the time, where the guy is easy going in the early stages... then changes when it comes to marriage.

Also if he is that easily convinced by his family over the issue of your conversion... what will he be like later??

He is unlikely to stand up for you... and jidging by your post neither will you.

DUMP HIM!

Hello Mia09

I'm muslim and regarding to what family says or want, i would not have asked my ex to convert because love him as he is. If he asks you then he doesn't love you enough to stand up for you. I know what I say as my ex was hindu/sikh and didn't love me enough to even talk to his mum about me because of my religion.

Hi meola ram,
Thanks for the response. Don't get me wrong, I realise all you say and i'm a very independent confident asian woman and I would want an equall relationship. My head tells me I should walk away but I just can't control my heart. There's no question of him converting and besides, he is religious and i'm not particularly so I wouldn't ask him to convert to something I know little about. I am proud to be Indian though & don't want to loose my identity so suppose I need to find the strength to walk away.... there seems to be no compromise in this.

Hi copperfield,
Again, thanks for your response. The problem I have is that he says he wouldn't want to change me and does respect me fror who I am it's just our marriage wouldn't be accepted in Islam if I didn't convert - and that's important to him. We've both tried to walk away and he knows he's asking a lot but we keep ending up back in each others lives. I'm usually so strong minded but that's what worries me.... I can't seem to just use my head here....

Indeed if someone marries a person who is not muslim the marriage is not accepted but then again, he should have thought about that before. I mean he knew before that you were hindu but he did go out with you so now he has to take his responsibilities. As much as you don't ask him to change he should not ask you to change. That's what I think being muslim too if I choose to love someone who is hindu i stick to it that's all!

Hi Mia09

I am also very open, not much religious type Hindu girl, in relationship with a Muslim guy, but he has no issues about me getting converted. In fact, once he proposed me for marriage I myself asked him directly about these issues and he told me that its my wish whether I myself want to convert or not, but he would accept me for what I am. And this was the thing that I appreciated the most. I don't know whether asking such direct questions are right or wrong, but it can be tried in a nice open manner, if both of you are serious about marriage- never hurts. I did that b'coz I don't want to convert just for the sake of doing it. Hindu-Muslim marriages are not new now, and people get married even without converting. Actually I feel that the most imp thing is that you should be accepted for what you are, and not what you would be later. Whatever your doubts are, just don't assume anything, go ahead and discuss with your bf- ask his views, share your views and go for whatever you truely feel is right for you. Just don't give away your self and identity, if you don't feel like doing it. It feels so good to be loved respected for what you are rather that trying half-heartedly to do something you don't feel like doing..

Wow, I've actually just revisited this forum 2 years later and am so delighted to see so many comments. Skimming through them, "poplartree" - thanks for sharing your story - sounds incredibly inspiring. I'd like some time to read all of your comments and come back to you all. I'll also be capturing some of these thoughts and stories in an article. Obviously no names will be disclosed. Thanks, and please keep the comments coming. Sona

Hi Sona,

This is not fair..starting the forum and just disappearing, to appear after 2 yrs...not fair at all.
He he ..just kidding. I really hope to grab a success story for you, from my own life. Actually this never turned out into a boring topic, it seems from all the posts.

Hi Sona,
This is not fair..starting the forum thread and disappearing, for 2 yrs...not fair at all....hehe..just kidding. I really hope to grab a success story in near future, from my own life. Actually this topic never turned out to be boring at all. nice work..

hi armani and sweetgirl..
i am facing the same situation as urs..i was just surfing and read this thread..2day i thought that i wont leave my bf..2day we had planned to get apart..bt nw i m firm dat i wont leave him..thanx to Sona as well for starting such a nice thread..pls keep in touch..so dat every1 here gets moral support..

Hi being_human

nice to see u on this thread. ya..why to fall apart if u r in good relationship. take care..

hi
evryone
i am too young 2 discuss dis issue....
im a 17yr hindu boy n comitted to a 18yr muslim girl...

we love each other vry much & in future we have also thinking of marriage
But her 3 elder brothers n he parents will be resistable...
i will see my parents n will also convince thm
the problm will arise from her family....

plzz suggest

Hey Aman sd,

if you want to convince your parents that you and your fiance will be okay in the future, I suggest you learn how to bloody well spell and get an education first!

Hi Aman sd
u'r too young for this issue really...10 yrs still lying in front to think about. Anyways convincing parents is a big task, in your case girl's family is going to prove tough i feel so. Since Muslim parents and bros would be too strict and religious to accept Hindu boy- in extreme u might be asked to convert also. I hope some Muslim bro and sis on this thread can help more about this. My advice is focus more on career at this point, have a strong footing in this world first. Life keeps on changing and you will yourself gain maturity to take decisions on these matters gradually.....plz don't take anything personally. It is just a piece of advice. !

hello guys!

It's been months now that my ex and I broke up but I still feel down and broken. I don't know what to do, I'm trying hard to get better but I loved him so much. I'm lost...

Copperfield,
what makes you think anyone gives a toss? Get over it you moany old fart.

Dear Tourist

If you have nothing to advice anyone, then what the need of using pathetic language on this board. Plz don't mess around unnecessarily. It is a very polite friendly suggestion and I hope you will not mind.

Dear Sweetgirl,

I think you will you should write:

"...nothing to ADVISE anyone..."

And...

"Then what IS the need of using pathetic language..."

And of course, PLEASE not Plz.

This is not a polite and friendly suggestion:

Why don't you go f**k yourself.

I hope you don't mind.

Tourist,

I don't see why you're so agressive. None of us did anything to you, if you're not interested by the topic don't come in the forum... no need to insult other people nor to be disrespectful

Hi everyone,

well, I guess it's nice to see
viewpoints on this situation. I am a
23 year old Muslim woman and my
boyfriend is 27 and Hindu, go figure.
Marriage is coming up since we have
been together 6 years. It is difficult,
but he has agreed to convert, given
that he has read books and learned
the fundamentals of Islam. My
parents are old fashioned and my
dad doesn't even want to speak
about it. His family is open minded
and I know he wants to do the Hindu
ceremony out of respect for his
parents. I just don't think I could tell
my family I'm going to do it! It's a
gray area, we love each other very
much and we know in the end it's us
and we are tolerable and
understanding of each other, but
family makes it so much harder. He
is not a practicing Hindu and maybe
that is why he is understanding of
Islam and my situation. We know it
won't be a walk in the park, but no
relationship or marriage is. I guess
everyone should follow
their hearts.

sashawty5 - no offence, but why should he have to convert? Why don't YOU convert??

It's always the Indian who has to convert- never the Muslim - why is that??

If you truly love each other religion should not come into it

Sorry for sounding harsh but if you read up above, you will see that i had a very bad experience. My first marriage was to a muslim a few years ago and was not a very pleasant experience. i too was with him for 6 years!

If you are not religious then yeah, it will work but if your folks are so old fashioned, you are gonna have problems

Thankfully i got out of that hell and married the man of my dreams.

But best of luck to you

I totally agree with Gemini on this one

No need to be sorry! It's not harsh
it's things that have come up. We
are not old fashioned my family is
and actually I'm Indian, he's
Guyanese, so they have more mixed
marriages on their side. He is not
religious that's why it has come down
to him becoming Muslim.

We are tolerable of each others
views as a whole and i'm sorry you
had a bad experience, but all
Muslims are not bad, or evil. Islam is
a understanding religion that tries to
bring you closer to God.

Honestly, nobody should be forced
into any religion, that's why I haven't
done so. It's completely my
boyfriends choice to become Muslim.

Love always has the upper hand.

sashawty5 that totally fine if it is totally ur bf's choice to convert. It is lucky to have open minded folks in family with few mixed marriages. Otherwise, the situation turns terrible from family side. Best of luck to you..

hullo everyone, firstly its great to see that the thread has been goin on for almost 3 yrs now and still is keepin people interested. we are a hindu/muslim couple(hindu guy/muslim girl) and we were just searchin for couples alike, those who value a human relationship more than religion, which for us is one's own way of gettin closer to god. none of us is religious, none of us has eva thought of converting, none of us has eva thought if eid and diwali have to be celebrated(is that even to be asked?). we have been madly in love for 4 yrs now, gettin maddder inspite of all the family opposition both of us are facing. we do not disrespect the sentiments of our families, we understand that their generation comes from an era where hindu-muslim relations were marred by the partition, the riots, babri masjid and more than nething dirty murky religious politics. but we belong to a more educated, a more accepting india where it is our responsibility as the new generation to start bridging the gaps. i love her and she loves me. i m a sailor by profession and shes into publishing. i was the typical bad boy and she the ultimate good girl. and we still fell in love, and still are and will be. if we both can get past our individual differences, well religion is just a trivial issue then. cmon, we all know how our inner self matters more than nething else in the world. and as far as our kids go, hmmmmm, we shall teach them more bout respect than religion.

Hi Madlyinlove

I feel so glad to know ur views abt these religious issues. The difficulty is that the differences which were created in our families' era seem to be permanent in their thoughts. Do u really feel u would be able to get over ur families opposition? I would be more than happy to get some views in this regard. u r so right- in this educated world respect and good human values matter and religion is trivial in that matter.

Hello Indian Girls,
I did't know whether above girls
are living in in India or UK.I am
living in India.After so many
warnings by media groups or
Hindu/Sikh organisations or
even
after some individuals who
faced the ordeal these women
intend to do what they want to
do?They have freedom
now.Probably it will be the last
act they do freely.I can't
believe them saying hell with
parents.They should because
,probably their parents erred in
giving you freedom and trusting
you.There is simply no family
honour.But it is alright because
there are no honour killings in
hindu society ,it is just that
parents suffer.Right now, no
amount of sense can be put in
to their heads.I came news
report.It says Headley,the
terrorist caught by FBI,who is
part of Mumbai killings, literally
moved freely and dated with
Indian Women(Bollywood).His
achievements are absolutely
zero.It shows how easy it is to
get to Indian women.Pathetic.

Hi Healer_999

Thanks for putting ur views here. Ur thoughts are absolutely correct but why do think it is a matter of saying hell to our parents. Its absolutely not. I in fact love my family like anything. But I just don't understand one thing. Why all these matters are directed to examples of few terrorists and whatever they have done. Does they represent the whole segment of a population and every other person would be following the same path in one way or the other? What about the middle class people, be it Hindus or Muslims who are just rearing their families, working at a job etc. Are all these people also related to one or the other terrorist groups and have some hidden motives? I really wonder about this. Why there is hatred against the whole community because of some people? I respect whatever u have said and would be very happy to know more about ur views.

Hello sweetgirl
I just hate to talk on this.You
say why put deeds of some
people on entire
community.The way i see is
this, you only keep on trying to
justify decisions.
I will ask only this.Do you
know what happened to Hindus
and Sikhs in Pakistan?They
simply disappered.Now it is
two percent(came down from
fifteen percent).Actually it is
less than two.Do you know the
condition of remaining ones.Do
you know how women are
treated?I can not write
here,because if i write those
here now i will not sleep for
this night.Many Sikhs and
Hindus in India do not know
this.The facts are our English
media won't write these
because it offends Indian
Muslims or against
secularism. Our so called
liberal intellectuals don't want
to talk on this.If anyone does
he is branded Hindu extremist.
Even then our government and
bollywood industry supports
good relations with that
country and supports free
movement.So that Sikhs here
also can be wiped out.You are
educated and you can find out
and read about the condition of
Sikhs and Hindus in Pakistan
and Bangladesh.You can read
Taslima Nasrin's book
SHAME.There is nothing really
like concept of secularism in
Islam.Infact condition of
religious minorities in all
Islamic countries is
miserable.Again you can find
about this from wen itself.For
every Muslim what really in the
end matters is Allah or Quran
and mostly increasing their
numbers.My dear sister do feel
for your Civilization and your
brethren.
I will write about a Hindu girl in
UK(She herself wrote this on a
website).She too married
against her parents wishes
without converting.But later to
fit in to their family,feeling she
will be accepted by them,she
took Islam.But then she was
forced to wear veil and observe
their customs.Here is the
ultimate one.When her
husband's sister wants to
marry a Sikh guy the whole
family including ,her
husband,not only said no but
have beaten.Then she divorced
him.There is no concept of
secularism in Islam.Only
Indian Muslims say they are
secular.But again you will not
see their true face thanks to
our media.You just have to ask
yourself how come they are
aggressive even in countries
where they are in minority.i.e
UK.You might say your guy is
different.You would love to
believe this.Probably you will
have many difficulties unless
he is an atheist.
Actually it is not the fault of
young people like you.Indians
are told mutated history.Then
there is bollywood and english
media.
I won't be coming here again.
My e-mail id is this:
rav0srinu@Gmail.com

Hey everyone,

I read through most of the posts...I need your help =)

I was born into a Hindu family, but I am not religious at all (I do beleive in a form of god though) and I love this guy who is muslim....now the problem is, I never went for any muslim guys, and since this is a serious relationship and I rele think he is Mr.Right, Ive started to think abt the fututre etc....I have read how hindu-muslim marriages have worked out well...but I know for a fact that my family would not accept a muslim guy...expecially my grandparents ....I dont know whether to follow my heart or my parnets...and does anyone know of any complications in the fututre that could arise? Much appreciate you guys taking time replying to me =)

Hey tamilgal,

what's wrong with all of you? Can't you spell? If you don't have a basic education, how can you even think about these issues?
Anyway, lets face facts. You marry a Muslim, you become a Muslim or you won't be accepted. FACT. Get over it.

Hey,

Read this please. Please go to
the web link I give and read it,
forward it i.e put this up in
some blog.

http://www.faithfreedom.org/isl
am/please-save-my-father-
hector-aleem

wow... it's great to read some of the success stories here! for those of you who are struggling to work things out, may God guide you to make the right choice for yourself.

i thought i'd share my own story here, it may help some of you. i come from a middle class hindu family; my parents are neither liberal nor conservative. i was raised in the US, where i had friends of all races and religions; my parents did not discriminate, and they raised me the same way.

my mother is pretty religious, and she taught me the Hindu religion; but from childhood, i was very curious about religion and God. before i was 13, i had already memorized many shlokas with meanings, and read the Bible as well. i would bring books on the Vedas from the library, just searching for answers, and one day i opened up the Quran as well. to be honest, i didn't find the answer i was looking for, that one particular religion was the right one; but I just found myself gravitating towards the idea that all religions essentially preach about one Truth, one God. i became comfortable with that concept, and rather than get caught up in ritual of worship, I began to engage in just worship alone.

then i graduated from university and started work. My coworker was a pakistani muslim guy. our relationship progressed from initial mistrust, to grudging respect to tentative friendship to becoming inseparable partners at work and outside, until we realized one day that we were in love. he talked to me one day, telling me frankly that he liked me a lot and would like to marry me. he told me upfront that he realized this was an unusual situation, and he told me what he could compromise on and what he could not compromise on. i knew that he himself was not uber-religious, but he said that for us to get married, his parents would want me to convert. he told me that he would do whatever else it took to convince my parents. i thought about it, and i realized that this guy had all the qualities i had ever wanted in a husband. the conversion part troubled me a bit, but not too much as i already knew quite a bit about Islam, and I realized that i essentially had a monotheistic concept of God, and i wouldn't be conflicted too much on this point. i said yes to him the next day, detailing a few conditions: that he would not require me to wear a veil, that he would agree to give neutral names to children (though they would be brought up Muslim) and that he would treat my parents with the same respect that I would give his.

from that point, we began to plan our strategy. he brought his sister to work and introduced me as his coworker and friend. she and i became good friends, and she invited me often to their home. so i got to know his family and extended family. he never told them that we were in a relationship, but he always spoke of me in a positive light. soon, everyone was telling him to propose to me, urging him to do so before he lost me to someone else! this is exactly what he wanted... if he had talked to his family directly about me, they could possibly have opposed him; but this way he ensured that not only did his family embrace his choice, but that i would be welcomed wholeheartedly and with respect into his family.

my parents were harder to convince. they kept saying things like, why should you have to convert, why can't he? i reminded my mother that even though her kul-devta, customs, language, traditions, etc. were different from my father's, after marriage, she did everything according to my father's family traditions, even changed her name. i tried explaining to them logically, telling them that his family was not conservative, they were just like my parents, except muslim. but my folks would not budge.

8 years had passed and we had to take a stance. my parents had met him and liked him but objected on his religion and nationality. they threatened to disown me and never speak to me if i married him. finally as i was getting to be an old maid, they said that they wouldn't give their blessings, but the only way out was for me to either break up with him or present them with a fait-accompli.

i got my answer. so we got married last year in a small nikah ceremony with only his family members and some of my friends present. after the marriage, i called my parents and told them the news. my father just said - we hate the sin, not the sinner. you will always be our daughter and we love you.

it has been almost a year to the wedding. i talk to my parents regularly. some days are tough, but for the most part, they speak to me normally. they were worried about what our relatives would say about my marriage, so they didn't tell anyone til about 2 months ago. surprisingly, everyone took the news well, or atleast no one said anything mean to my parents. i guess many people figured out that since i was refusing to get married, there was some reason behind it. some of my nicer cousins sent congratulatory emails to me, and happily i am rebuilding my relationships with my family members. there are some people who are immature or just plain mean, but i have learnt to ignore them. after all, i have got what i wanted... i know i have to be patient and things will work out.

dating is certainly different from marriage, which comes with a lot of responsibility and requires maturity, patience and a cool head, especially in this situation. my inlaws are mostly nice and non-interfering types, but i'm still the new daughter-in-law and i know there are some people who compare me unfavourably and who watch my every move with a critical eye. my policy is to kill em with love.

in terms of adjustment, honestly i am the one who has done a great deal of adjustment. whether it's language, food, culture, religion, whatever. but i know that if i weigh these things on a scale, i will become resentful and unhappy. at the same time, my husband is very supportive of me, and agrees to most of my demands. for example, i converted but refused to change my name officially - and he convinced his father on that point. he acknowledges the sacrifices i have made in our relationship and he makes it up to me in other ways. in a few months, we will have our wedding reception, and my family plans to attend this time :)

a couple of things i will say to the guys and girls who are contemplating a hindu-muslim marriage: lay the ground rules based on mutual respect from the start and do not break or change them. secondly, never ever convert just to get married, only convert if you truly believe in the religion you are converting into.

i know it was a long read...but i hope it will be useful to some of you. wish you all the best with your relationships!

Hello,

I read the above post and the
one by tamigal. I felt sick.
Before I write more let me tell
my own.

Rich Guy, graduated from a
college many Indians dream of.
In fact it is IIT kanpur. But I
could't do justice to that
education , which is other
thing, because of domestic
issues. Never the less I fell in
love with a Christian girl, and
actually she showed more
interest. Never the less when I
spoke to their family, they said
no first and then said ok if I
converted. I felt like what the
big issue with religion and also
felt that I wanted not to hurt my
would be wife. I hate hurting
women in any manner. So for
her happiness I agreed and
married. Though my mother
said no and opposed it bitterly,
I went ahead because I was't
very listening kind.

Time passed quiet well but for
few issues between my mother
and my wife. Some times I
attended Church Sunday
masses along with my wife
and her family.

At the same time I know my
mother wept silently. But she
could't do any thing else
because I am the only
available child for her. I talked
to her a lot because I do not
want to deteriorate her health
which is bit fragile.

Still every thing is fine and
under control. We had our first
child who is now 5 years old.A
daughter. All during this time
my wife and her family always
used to tell me how peaceful
the Christianity is , Single God
and forgiveness and also used
to ridicule Hinduism(My wife
didn't do this). I could have
argued with them but I felt it is
their ignorance.

Then came Mumbai killings
and I was searching for info on
Islamic terror and I found a
website named:

http://skepticsannotatedbible.c
om.
I read this website. My life
changed so drastically I feared
I might hurt some one esp. my
wife. But I controlled my self
and kept my feelings to my
self. I tried to be normal, but
my daily cigarettes went from
10 to 35or 40, felt sad for my
mother. Only happiness was
with my children and my wife.
But fearing for my health
because of cigarettes I decided
to face my wife on this so
called peaceful religion and
showed this( above ) website
and she was startled. I mean
she has grown up like
Christian, but never read the
Bible for herself. She could't
digest in the beginning but
read Bible again and again and
cross checked with what is in
website. She realized the
nature of this one God in Abraham faiths and she
behaved so strangely that I
feared really. Some how I was
able to manage the whole
situation and brought her
normally.

From then she stopped
attending Sunday masses and
strictly told her parents not to
teach Bible and its stories to
our daughter and even wanted
to change the names of
children. But I stopped it
saying Amber is already 5
years old and might be
confused and effect her
thinking power. She agreed,
but changed my son's name
from Ethan Paul to Abhiram.
Now she sometimes goes to
Shiva temple against my
wishes. I mean when our son
got severe fever she needed to
pray to some God. Realizing
that women are bit emotional
and bit weak in strength
(mentally)
I left the whole issue to herself.
We are happy now and we
celebrated our first Diwali
without firecrackers and didn't
celebrate Christmas. We even
went to Titupati for our children
and my mother is happier than
ever.

I always felt my wife is rational
and could think quiet
independently and I am very
lucky to be her partner. But I
am torn between many
things.First thing is she more
or less converted to Hinduism
and I feel sad because I do not
want her to change in any
manner. Any way all the time
time she dressed up like a
Hindu women putting Bindi and
wearing Mangalsutra ( It is a
Christian custom also) , in
essence there was not much
change in the way we live or
lived and we got along very
well. Still I wish she should
have remained as Christian atheist as she was.

Most importantly I felt
ashamed that I left my Identity
so easily, hurt my mother
badly despite all my
knowledge of our History, ups
and down in our civilization,
politics. As a fact even after
converting to Christianity I
never really changed in any
manner besides occasionally
attending a mass. Even then I
felt bad and now I think I
should have tried to convince
her parents. Only thing that
really forced me to convert
because of my belief that she
should be happy and she
should not sacrifice any more
than she(any wife) does. That
was my conviction. After all
she changes her sir name and
gives birth and nurtures.

Any way I didn't convert back
to Hinduism in formal manner
,but I never changed name
really, but I associate with
church for just one reason
because I am a regular donor
to that foundation.

Some times thought comes to
me what if she is different? Of
course I would have never hurt
her in any manner.

Hello,


I just want to conclude what I
started. I want to say some
thing about God.

Yes there are many Gods in
Hinduism, but it is not
important. God just manifests
in many ways, that's it.
Concept of Hinduism is very
broad. It even supports
atheism.(Vedanta). Then there
is feminine worship. It
produced rich philosophy. or
santhana dharma. Many
philosophers who went through
all religions say Hinduism is
universal in nature. At the
same time it has its own
riddles. But you will find them
noting compared to faiths of
one god.

It even says You can become
Brahma(God) if you do certain
things like give up anger,
jealousy, lust and other things.

Lets come to Abhramic faiths.
Their books are full of violence.
Just go to this website

http://skepticsannotatedbible.c
om

and you will find out yourself.
This was put up by atheists. In
all three books , old testament,
new testament and quran, God
keeps on cursing, verse after
verse is devoted to curses and
violence. God commands to
kill, smite,rip what not any
thing. Who are those to be
killed?
Those who do not follow these
religions.

According to Bible, every one
who does not believe in Bible,
they will go to Hell.

According to Quran, all infidels
will burn in Hell.

Just imagine Gandhiji. He may
be in Hell or might be burning
in hell.

According to Bible, so, 4 billion
people will go to hell.
According to Quran, 5 billion
people will burn in hell.

In Bible,There are 1120 verses
of cruelty and violence in total
of 30,000 verses.(3.6%)
There are 520 such verses in
Quran out of 6500
verses.(8.38%).

People who believe in these
say these should be
understood in the certain
context. Can you believe , God
,if exists, will advocate killing,
rape and slavery in any
context,with all our human
logic. Why would he differentiate between believers
and non believers? Would he
say he will bring death to all
living things? Or Does he need
some one else to kill non
believers when he himself
could it easily, considering He
is all powerful?

Simple logic is needed to
reach conclusions. In fact I tell
you it is very boring to read
either of these books. They
them selves say. I tried to read
Bible , could never get past 10
pages.

Only thing about these faiths,
they look glamorous, outwardly
appealing.

I will say they are wonderful
political documents.

Healer99 - you are anything but a Healer! your nick should be Hater99 :-)

secondly, this thread is about successful mixed marriages, what problems people have faced and how they overcame those problems in their relationships.

kindly open up a separate thread to carry on your diatribe on religions. Thank you very much!

Phoeonix i wouldn't pay attention to Healer he ias been spitting his venom on practically all the threads. It is best to ignore him

hey Sapna,

Is that right, I haven't been on this forum long enough to know that... yes, I suppose it's best to ignore his tantrums. Thanks for the heads up!

hi all,
i have gone through most
of the posts all i observe is
most of the hindu girls here are
just like me who have
converted to islam to make
their relationships work.

however for me the actual
problems started after my
conversion as i deeply studied
islam to get better
knowledge.Also my husband
was very keen on me gaining
more knowledge and faith. He
always ridiculed hinduism
infront of me but i never said
anything coz i dont have sound
knowledge of hinduism myself.

but however i was raised with
good moral values.coming
back to my story after
conversion as i read more and
more about islam i was
disgusted coz i see a lot of
voilence,sex and immorality
especially in hadees including
sahih hadees.so i stopped
following them as relegious
scriptures.this caused a lot of
rift in our relationship as my
husband believes that to be a
muslim one has to follow both
Quran and sahih hadees.

He threatened to divorce me a
lot of times if i will not become
a proper muslim.This husband
of mine is the same guy who
lied to me twice before
marriage that i dont need to
convert and he will accept me
as what i am.My mistake was
to trust his words.by the time i
got so much deep in to the
relationship he said i have to
convert as the marriage will not
be legal if not done according
to islam. I decided to do
research on islam before
marraige as at that point i was
so desperate to get married to
him despite his lies.

My reason for forgiving him
was even though he lied it was
to win me back.i started my
research on islam with
Quran.Even though i never
understood the concept od
slaves and wars on unbelievers
i liked the idea of one god.so i
thought ok this is not bad and i
said i will convert.

now again back to the
story,my husband started
forcing me to do prayers on
time.if i miss any prayer he
said a polythiest is alwyas a
polythiest thats the reason
why its told in quran to not to
marry idolworshippers.

i got so frustrated that i
decided to get separated from
him.then he mellows down and
for sometime he will not force
me on anything.then after few
days same story repeats.

Now as i stick to quran, i found
out that even a lot of stuff in
that is so biased and very
unconvincing.so actually now i
hate islam.

If i take relegion out of our lives
i know that my husband and
me will have very minimal
problems,but this god of islam
has made our lives hell with his
absurd rules.

every now and then just becoz
of relegion my husband says
this relationship wont work.i
dont know.i suggest hindu girls
to check in detail the relegious
teachings of your partner.if he
is a secular type and doesn't
ask you to covnert then go for
it.but if they are asking you to
convert then there begins your
submission,and it goes on do
the prayers on time,change
your name,be islamic in your
behavious and so on..it will
never end.

so dont marry fantatic
muslisms or for that matter
fanatic hindus.

Hello lovelost,

Are you from India?

Now I will try to complete what
I wanted to write in my
previous post. This concept of
single God and fanaticism is
not just unique to Islam. It is
very much in Christianity.

Now if you read my previous
posts , you will understand
this. After my partner started
going to temples ridiculously ,
for some time it looked OK.
But you never know what can
happen? Her parents(MIL)
started accusing me of forcing
her to accept Hinduism. Even I
haven't changed from
Christianity to Hinduism
according to official records
still they accuse me.I am so
much frightened that I sleep in
my office when my MIL comes
to our house and stays. She
literally starts accusing me
and starts calling Siva,
Krishna, Ram satans and
devils. She is the one who
used to refer to me previously
as her son, because I
converted to Christianity. My
wife tries hit back , but I stop
her from doing because it only
aggravates the situation, more
importantly I didn't want my
daughter to get disturbed. I can
take all these abuses, not a
problem for me, or even sleep
in my office for ever, but I fear
for my daughter and I do not
want her to face this kind of
situations where MIL starts
abusing me and everything in
my house. For past 4 months
my life is hell. My wife and me
are have thought of keeping our
daughter in a good Hostel but
decided against it because of
her age, she is only 5years
old.

It is not necessary you get in
to mess because of your
partner , it can even happen
because of outside influence.
Today I wish I have't found out
more about Bible.

If as a male I feel like this, I
can understand out women in
this kind of situations. When I
say my life is hell it is hell.
Can you imagine how one feels
if someone like your MIL
shouts on you before people
working for me.

Worst thing is other people
start saying behind me that I
deserved this for my
arrogance. These things can
effect you even in profession if
you are not strong enough
mentally.

I advice people to be very
careful before going in to inter
religious marriages. Not just
Hindu Muslim marriages. This
can happen in any wedlock.

Hello Phoenix,

Thanks for the compliment. I
read your post. You your self
said you hate to think what
you have given up because it
might effect your marriage.
You see, indirectly you already
started it.

Lets talk generally. After I put
up that post I requested this
admin to delete it and I even
reported it to be offensive. I got
a letter saying it is done but
nothing was done. Never the
less it was a mistake from me.
But I do not repent as such,
especially after seeing the post
by lovelost.

After trouble started in my life
with MIL I started searching
the web for inter religious
marriages and I found a lot
about about Christianity and
Islam. Because I got so much
spare time in nights in my
office occasionally. I even
wrote that post of supposedly
hate at about 4'o clock in the
morning.

I again say this very clearly do
not fall for this one God
concept. It is much better to
worship a tree rather a God
who keeps on cursing ,
threatening and even tells how
to kill non believers.

Please try to learn some
basics about Christianity and
Islam. You can easily do it by
searching and reading in the
web. I did this now, and I can
argue with any one now that
Hinduism or Sikhism or
Budhism are far better than
these abrahamic faiths. These
books like Old Testament,
Bible and Koran are manuals
of hate.

Look at this sample in Bible.
God kills everyone
(men,women,children,infants,n
ewborns) by raining fire and
stones from heaven. Just look.
God killing children. God even
asks a father to kill his son
and that father agrees to do it.
Only a evil god asks for such
thing and a bad father agrees
to it.

Can any one with a logic
defend this kind of God and
even worship him?
What kind of God sends
plague or creates
earthquakes? Apologists say
you should understand the
contexts in which verse was
written. But I say that this
narrow concept of God is
complete falsehood and if at all
a God exists he will not differentiate between worshipers and non
worshipers.

Even today pastors in church
talk about original sin of eve,
eating apple, say God
punished all women with pain
during child birth. The very
beginning of humanity is a
curse according to these
abrahamic faiths. He also
condemns them to subjection
to men. Wow. This according
to Bible.
People say these books say
good things too. Like be good
to your neighbor , to your
parents, do not lie, do not
cheat. Most of these are basic
Common sense.

Only good thing here is most Christians in the west ,but not
in India, are highly secularized
and do not believe in these
biblical stories. I mean
protestant reformation ensured
that.

I will be very brief about Islam
and Koran though I did
extensive study. You have to
understand this: there is no
Christianity with out Judaism
and there is no Islam without
Christianity and Judaism.
To an extent they are all same.
But they do differ too.

Islam is a system of double
standards in which "might
makes right" and the morality
of an action is judged only by
whether or not it advances
Islam or benefits Muslims or
spread of Islam.

1. Muslim man can marry a
Non Muslim women, but a
Muslim woman can not marry
a Non Muslim man.
2. It is alright for others to
convert to Islam (In fact they
should, it says), but Muslims
can not convert to other
religions.

To this day, Muslims who
demand the freedom to preach
their faith in non-Muslim
countries actively deny the
same rights to other religions
where and when Islam has the
power. They insist that others
have the right to convert to
Islam, while no Muslim as the
right to leave on penalty of
death.

Ask yourself why this kind?
Because it assumes truth to it
self and places itself above
every other system. I called it
system because Koran is also
politics. Yes.The Qur’an plainly
tells Muslims that they are a
favored race, while those of
other religions are “perverted
transgressors”:13.16,39.09,3.1
10.

From the beginning it divides
humanity in to two. Believers
and Infidels (Kuffar, plural word
for kafir). World in to two parts:
Dar-Ul_Islam (land of Islam)
and Dar-Ul-Harb (land of war).
It is also politics because it
explicitly tells Muslims how
they should conduct
themselves with non Muslims.
It tells them not to make
friendship with infidels. Koran
tells infidels are worst than
beasts. It literally dehumanizes
non believers (infidels). It calls
for violence against infidels.
Infidels can even be taken as
slaves, yes, Koran permits
slavery. Muslims can lie to
Non Muslims, but not
Muslims. Muslims can steal
from Non Muslims , but not
from Muslims.

The holiest book of Islam (61%
of which is about non-Muslims)
draws the sharpest of
distinctions between Muslims
and non-believers, lavishing
praise on the former while
condemning the latter. Far
from teaching universal love,
the Qur'an incessantly
preaches the inferiority of non-
Muslims, even comparing them
to vile animals and gloating
over Allah's hatred of them and
his dark plans for their eternal
torture. Naturally, the harsh
treatment of non-believers by
Muslims is encouraged as
well.

If any woman wants know
about status of woman go to
this below link:
http://www.muslimsandislamic.
faithweb.com/photo3.html

Or if you feel this ex- Muslim is
being dis honest, you can read
it yourself from islamic website
itself. I mean website is
developed by devout muslims
themselves. Below is the link:

http://www.islam-
qa.com/en/ref/1105.

If you want to know briefly
about Islam and its founder I
suggest you go to this
website:

http://www.thereligionofpeace.c
om
Here you can learn basics very
quickly , I mean you can go
through very quickly. They give
you all the references of verses
such as numbers. Even provide hyper links to source from
where verses are taken.

But if you want to dwell deep in
to it you should go to
http://www.faithfreedom.org/.
But here it takes time as they
go in to details.
You can even go to
http://www.islam-watch.org.
here language is very lucid and
editor is an Indian, MA Khan.

Personally I don't need to go to
these websites for knowing
Islam is totalitarian, I just look
around . Look at all Islamic
countries and how religious
minorities are persecuted , in
some places exterminated,
like Hindus in Pakistan. Interesting thing is the way
Muslims demand equal rights
when they are in other
countries. They are even
pressing for sharia law in USA.

Girls,please do not fall for this
one God concept. You can still
convert and go for marriage.
But it will be good if you know
little about it , so you don't
blame your self later.

I will add this again, Muslims
in general and Christians in
India have nothing but
contempt for Hindus and
Hinduism. Like lovelost says
they refer to us like polytheists.

I really hope my sister
sweetgirl reads this post.

I admire lovelost for putting up
that post and telling her story.
She even converted after
reading about war on infidels
and about slavery. Slavery is
,even now, practiced in Sudan.
Then she says she didn't
understand properly. Now she
says she hates Islam. It will be
good if she comes forward to
share more here.She will be
helping many girls.
But I agree with her in the
sense that if that guy is
secular , it is alright.But you
should know that there is no
concept of moderate Muslim in
Islam. May not be. If you read
properly about Islam I doubt if
you even want to raise his
kids.

fhgfhfgbdfadasda

^ pls ignore the above accidental post, or mods please delete it if possible...

hey lovelost,

i felt so sad when i read your story :(
i can understand what you must have gone through, the heartbreak, the sense of betrayal you must have felt. sometimes we go through difficult experiences, but we learn and grow because of them too. i pray that the future holds only good things for you *hugz*

contd. from above

i agree with you that before converting, one should read and learn as much as they can about the religion they are converting into, so that one can make an informed decision instead of a blind faith one. no marriage is easy, and especially not a hindu-muslim marriage. people change all the time, esp as they grow older. in the inter-faith scenario, you have to consider the situation where your partner might change, become more religious or force you to practice the faith against your will. so girls should be careful to make practical choices rather than emotional ones.

luckily i knew my husband for 8 years before we got married. we had enough discussions and arguments to thrash out expectations and work out compromises. we had enough good times and enough bad times to fully comprehend what we were getting into. in retrospect, i think that if i had married him earlier, we would probably have got divorced; however those 8 years gave us a chance to find ourselves as a couple.

contd for lostlove:

i hope that your husband realizes his mistake and that you guys can mend your marriage... but if not, then i hope things work out well for you... and they will in good time. stay positive!

***
sorry for the multiple posts, folks, but for some reason i was not able to post more than a paragraph at a time...

Please watch this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=7qgkQqRDLPE

Please watch this video.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=7qgkQqRDLPE

Recent incident which
happened in West Bengal was
not even reported by our so
called Secular English Main
Stream Media. Here 50 to 60
Muslim boys attacked Hindu
girls practicing in a sports
complex. Local politicians, non
Muslims and Muslims urged
the victims not to report the
incident to police or press.

Please read the full story in the
below link.

http://hinduexistence.wordpres
s.com/2010/04/22/muslim-
boys-attack-hindu-girls-at-
barrackpore-sports-center-in-
west-bengal/

This message is not for those
Jodhas who try to cocoon
themselves in to believing that
it is a just act of few mis guide
d.

Jodha was one of the 5000
Hindu women sex slaves
Akbar kept in his harem and
his son kept 6000. You will not
find this in our sanitized history
text books.

If you want to learn the basics
of Political Islam go to a web
site named
http://knowing-
basics.blogspot.com

I think it was not completed
but still I found one or two
articles which are good.

Violence by Muslims in West
Bengal continues. To read
about the latest incident
Please visit

http://knowing-
basics.blogspot.com/

You can also read the interview
of Vijay Kumar who is
contesting for US Congress
from Tennessee at the same
website or you can go to below
link.

http://www.faithfreedom.org/wo
rdpress/?p=9682

Want to understand and see
islamo fascism? Read from
below link:

http://intellibriefs.blogspot.com
/2010/03/hindu-sikh-minorities-
in-pakistan.html

Actually that is a white wash,
the truth is it is much worse.

Wow, 3 years on and this thread is still going strong :)