In an extended interview with a newspaper, actress and writer Meera Syal has talked about her first marriage and growing up feeling insecure for the first time.

In an interview with the Daily Mail newspaper she said she found it difficult growing up as an Indian girl in a white, working-class mining village. “I felt isolated as a child because I was different. … I stuck out like a sore thumb.”

Meera is fronting a new documentary for BBC 1 called A World Of Pain, on teenage self-harm.

On her first marriage she said:

Asian women don’t do divorce. We’re not allowed to. So it was done with a great deal of pain and regret. Of course, you then start talking to people and find out that it’s been happening all over the place and for many years. It’s just kept very, very quiet. There have always been bad marriages.
…
By the time I was 25 most of my friends were married, and there were gentle mutterings that I should be too. For my generation, 30 was a bit late. There was a general feeling that you shouldn’t wait too long, otherwise there’d only be divorcees and amputees left. Also, I felt I’d already been rebellious and had chosen an unconventional path, so it was time to try and do something right, to show people that, just because I was an actress, I wasn’t a tart.

On her teenage memories, she said

Feeling different didn’t necessarily make me feel deeply unhappy and alone because I had a loving family. But I didn’t really fit in anywhere.

I think that’s why I became creative. I used to write down my feelings – I kept diaries for years – and I think that helped me a lot. I once made the mistake of making an audio diary. Then, during one of our family musical evenings, my dad found it while he was looking for a tape to record his Indian songs. He put it in the cassette player and everyone could hear me going, “I wish I had a boyfriend. I really hate being fat.” I never did that again.’

The full interview is here.